The Pub is an important part of the Irish culture, of private and business socialising, and of the traditional Irish music scene. Whether you drink alcohol or not, you are likely to be invited to join colleagues or friends to go for ‘a pint’ (one pint glass = 568ml) or ‘a drink’ (which, by the way, seldom means one drink, but rather a number of drinks) at the pub. And if you are new to Ireland, it may be difficult to understand pub etiquette and the ’round system’, because as is often the case with cultural ‘codes’ – they tend to be unspoken… (at least until you leave the room)…
So what exactly is Anna not understanding?
An Irish Round
The Irish ‘round system’ is a way for people in a group to buy drinks for each other. If you are at the Pub with a group of Irish friends or colleagues and someone in the group gets up to buy a drink for everyone in the group – usually asking ‘What would you like to drink?’ – it is expected that everyone in the group who receives a drink takes their turn in buying ‘their round’ – i.e. buying the others in the group a drink. A round of drinks can include alcoholic and/or non-alcoholic drinks.
In Ireland, people tend to get up and buy their round before everyone has finished their drink. When it is your turn to buy a round, make sure to pay attention to everyone’s drinks, to see if they are nearly ready for their next one – like that you’ll avoid being viewed as the person who is ‘very slow to get his/her round’.
While foreigners/newcomers are often forgiven for not buying ‘their round’ once or twice, they are usually respected more if they do buy their rounds. If someone keeps skipping their round, it is likely to upset the people they are out drinking with (though they will most likely not tell you this to your face). Leaving the pub before you have paid a round is also viewed negatively. If you do not want a drink, and/or want to avoid getting included in a round, politely say so at the beginning when arriving at the Pub, before anyone gets up to get the first drink – declining a drink could, however, take some determination and patience on your part. In Norway, where I grew up, declining a drink is quite straightforward, and the conversation will sound something like this:
Norwegian Friend: Would you like a drink?
Me: No thank you.
Norwegian Friend: Ok then.
In Ireland, however, your friends are likely to insist (2–3 times or more) before they take your ‘no’ for an answer:
Irish Friend: Would you like a drink?
Me: No thank you.
Irish Friend: Ah go on, have something.
Me: No thank you I am not thirsty.
Irish Friend: Go on, have a small drink? …A half-pint? …A glass of wine? …Even a non-alcoholic drink? …A cup of tea?
Me: No really… I really…really do not want a drink.
Irish Friend: Tayto’s then?
Don’t want to get stuck in a round?
So how do you avoid getting included in a round, while still being able to enjoy a social evening or drink at the Pub with your friends or colleagues? Well you try to stay out of the round in the first place, especially if you are not planning on buying a round for the others (or drinking at the same pace as your friends/colleagues). Here are three options that might help you avoid both the round and a reputation as the one who ‘never buys his/her round’…
- Buy the first round – or – make sure to buy your round before you leave the Pub – like this you have contributed to the round, and you can leave the pub whenever you want to – but in good time before it is your round again. (Probably the most favourable of the three options.)
- Make your excuses before going to the Pub – saying you don’t feel like drinking, that you are tired, or not feeling well, but will come along for a short while. If someone is getting a round just ask for some tap water or no drink at all, like that you are not considered included in the round and are not expected to buy the others a round.
- Stay out of the round completely – If you would like to have a drink, but prefer to just buy your own drinks, say something like ‘You guys/girls work away, I’ll just get myself something in a while as I don’t feel like a drink just yet’. (An OK option. However, if you never buy anyone a round, you may be viewed as ‘cheap’ or ‘too tight’ to get anybody a drink.)
Prefer not to socialise at the pub?
While the pub is sometimes the default go-to place for socialising, or unwinding with friends or colleagues, Irish people tend to be social and up for trying new venues and activities. Why not suggest going for lunch at a cafe or restaurant, going bowling, to a sports match/game, or a concert with your friends/colleagues instead of meeting at the Pub?
The above understanding of Irish Pub culture is largely based on my own first-hand experiences and observations over the past 10-20 years socialising, working and living in Ireland…and inevitably has included ‘a few’ visits to the pub. I’d love to hear your experiences of Irish pub culture and being included in (or perhaps trying to avoid being included in) – an Irish round.
